Feeling good in your skin

Other than the love I have for a mocha frappuccino, the longest relationship I have ever maintained is with my skincare routine. My skincare segment will be in two parts. This is part one which focuses on 'Why skincare became important to me' and part two will focus on 'The Skincare products that have changed my life'.

Part One

Like most people, I have had a very up and down relationship with my skin. I started suffering from acne when I was 13 years old until I was 19 years old.

A teenager's nightmare, right?

I wish I had a photo to show how bad my acne was at its peak. Still, not to sound too old, selfies weren't a big thing until I went off to university and by then my skin was already on its way to getting better.

My mom to this day assumes that I suffered from acne because of the three times I applied blush when I was 13 (If I could attach an eye-roll emoji, it would be right here). Having acne from a young age is mentally draining. Back then, I was so obsessed with having clear skin that the first thing I noticed about anyone was how well their skin looked. Somewhat weird right?

In my defence, I only did that because if someone did have acne skin or clear skin, I wanted to know what they were doing to improve their acne-prone skin or how they maintained a clear complexion. Not exactly a fun and exciting conversation for teenagers to have. Also, not sure what I was expecting asking another 13 year old how they took care of their skin. As if they would suddenly tell me their ten steps Korean skincare routine.

The reason my acne stopped when I was 19 was that I went to a dermatologist who honestly I think was sent to me by god. My dermatologist examined my skin, did a blood test and found out I had a hormonal issue. The dermatologist then prescribed me a course of five different tablets for the first month to treat the hormonal problem. Then, for the next six months, he followed it with a very famous acne-treating tablet known as Isotretinoin. At the end of this treatment until now (I just turned 24 years old), I have never once gotten acne.

So, before being treated for acne, I was preparing myself for a lifetime full of acne and acne scars on my face. The preparation involved the mental acceptance of myself and the way I thought I would look for the rest of my life. For instance, some of the things I mentally prepared for was:

1. I cannot wear makeup. Nowadays, this is not the case since there is makeup for acne-prone skin. However, at the time, I felt that this was not a choice because through lots of research, I had read that makeup can clog your pores. Honestly, until last year, because of my friend's wedding and that I'm going to start working, I finally got the courage to wear makeup (Special thanks to a particular friend A for all the help).

2. Mentally preparing myself the night before if I knew I had to go out the next day. This one is a little tricky and mainly depended on how my skin felt the night before. I didn't always have to mentally prepare myself before leaving the house. Still, there were days where my skin was not at its best, and I just had to tell myself "It's alright, this is not a big deal" as I left the house.

3. Looking at myself in the mirror. Similar to above, it was one of those things where I would somehow try to convince myself not to spend the next half hour obsessing over how my skin looks and feels.

4. People asking me "What's wrong with my face?" was a common question I used to get asked by family and family friends. They used to look at me as if I was some contagious and scarred individual. Some people used to ask me if I washed my face properly. Some people would recommend I try out home remedies as if they were some skin expert. Might I add the home remedies never work for those with severe acne and people do not seem to understand. Honestly, the amount of times I cursed at aloe vera is unreal. I feel like being asked this type of question when you are a teenager can shake your confidence.

These are just a few things I had to think about growing up while I tried not to feel the word 'Ugly'.

Shockingly enough, the one thing that hit me hard regarding acne during that time was hearing my younger cousin who had started getting acne to feel embarrassed and ashamed to go outside. It was genuinely very disappointing and sad to hear that we lived in a society where we made someone hate how they looked and shake their confidence all because of dumbass pimples.

I have to say though, and I do apologise if it seems like I am singing my praises. Still, while I did have moments where I would question myself, hate my skin, allow others to make me feel worse about how I looked or feel like I could not leave the house, I knew they were just moments. Moments that did not define me as a person and nor did I let them rule my life.

Sure my skin was stressing me out, but that did not mean that I stopped going out. I love going out and hanging out with my friends. I did not want to miss an opportunity to go to a birthday party or a family event just because my skin was terrible that day. I somehow naturally came to realise what I should be prioritising in life is living my life instead of worrying over the dumbass pimple.

Of course, I won't deny it. I am grateful to the dermatologist. I thank heavens that I do not get acne anymore. Still, even before getting treated for acne, I always walked with my head held high, and this confidence gave me the strength to love myself and my skin. I know how cool I am as a person. I know how beautiful I am as a person. I just accepted that the acne is part of who I am, and this is what I suffer with, and it's okay. One of the elements of loving yourself is being comfortable and proud of the skin you are in.

To those reading this thinking, why is she writing a motivation article about acne? To those who have never had acne, I cannot express to you, how a pimple can make you feel like the smallest person in the world, especially in the Asian community where people judge you based on your height, looks, weight, skin colour etc.

In a 2018 study conducted by the British Journal of Dermatology, the researchers found that out of 2,299 people, 22% had thoughts of or attempted suicide. Once again, you might think that it is crazy to feel this way about spots. Yes, it is absurd. However, when acne is on your face, it can affect someone's self-confidence. It can make them feel anxious, shameful and panic that people are staring at them because of the spots.

Therefore, acne-prone people must know that acne on your skin does not determine how beautiful you are. Beauty genuinely comes from within. Please remember that and enjoy your life. Do not let acne stop you from doing anything.

Once again, thank you for reading! Let me know what you guys thought! Did any of you have acne and if so, did it affect how you viewed yourself? How did you overcome it? Im curious to know!